How to Experience the Country Like a Local and Forge Lasting Connections
Discover Italy beyond the tourist facade and embark on a meaningful journey of connection and immersion.
When was your last long trip to Italy ? Maybe you’d scheduled a lot of time in the hope of getting to know the country in-depth but you ended up going back home with that nagging feeling of having missed a LOT all the same.
This post is for all the people like you who feel a deep, inexplicable connection to Italy and aren’t content with that sense of being a tourist you get while roaming it. That sense that you’re seeing only the surface of things and not the added layer you dream of getting to experience.
Some of you, are heritage learners of Italian, that is you’re learning Italy to honor your family’s country.
But you’re also people who have realized that they simply need more Italy in their lives and won’t settle for the postcard version because the connection they feel is so visceral.
You know the language quite well and yet, that doesn’t seem to allow you to leave the tourist bubble.
You’ve studied the culture, read the books, know all the faux paux you’re supposed to avoid and yet….
You want more.
You’d like to make friends.
You’d like to build connections.
You’d like to experience the country from the inside.
In today’s post, I’ll share with you some tips and ideas to help you get to know Italy like a local and create meaningful experiences.
Quick disclaimer. For any of these tips to work, you have to be in one place for at least a week if not more. Trust and friendship, like all things in life, take time to build.
Be a creature of habit - My own experience.
Some of you know that I live in Cremona but I’m originally from southern Italy. I’ve lived in northern Italy for thirteen years now and lived in Cremona since 2016.
By that date, I was already working online so that meant that my job kept me mostly at home and made it extremely difficult for me to connect with locals
What made things even more challenging was that people in northern Italy, especially Cremona, tend to be less open to making new friends.
Lastly, friendship as an adult is difficult everywhere, I’m afraid.
Despite my being an introvert, I very much need some sort of human interaction so I’ve developed some strategies to help socialize with people in my community.
All good things start with caffè al bar.
After settling in Cremona, I started stopping regularly at my local cafè. Day after day, I’d have my cup of caffè macchiato or cappuccino (if it’s winter) at the same time.
This helped me make friends with the owner of the cafè, Adriano, but also with the other people who’d go there regularly for breakfast or a caffé corretto. Now, people know my name, what I do for a living ( sort of) and other little things.
Sometimes, people greet me and many times I have no idea who they are but they seem to know me so I greet them back.
Going regularly to a cafè is an incredible way to get to know a place. People share all sorts of stories over coffee, discuss plans for the day, the news, soccer, the weather, how life was so much better before and what fun events might be scheduled for the evening.
When I began feeling more comfortable going to the cafè round the corner, I would take some time to glimpse quickly through the local papers.
Local Papers.
Local papers are THE single most underrated resource to build your connection with a place. There’s so much you can understand about a town and a community from the local news.
For example, Cremona’s paper, La Provincia, will talk about local festivities, book presentations and how the firemen saved a cat that was trapped on a tree. Yes, Cremona is that kind of town where not much really happens.
Through local papers, aside from getting a sense of the pace of life, I also found out about events I could attend, interesting courses and I discovered towns I’d not thought of checking out.
Locals often don’t think that where they live is anything special so they won’t know to tell you about them. I had to wait five years to find out about a special ancient church and a monastery in my town and I found it out entirely by accident so sometimes you have to be a cultural detective.
Become a searcher of truth, the truth of Italian life and culture. Take a mental note of what you see and hear. Eavesdropping can be such a powerful language and cultural learning tool.
Community library
Another thing that brought me closer to my community was going to the library and spending time there.
After seeing how many books I was checking out and chatting with me about my life and background, the administration asked me if I wanted to join the commissione bibliotecaria and I now help with the organization of local events and shows. Which for me was an incredible opportunity to get to know even more people and also do my part for the community.
I’m not sure if this tip is applicable to you unless you’re an expat in Italy but I thought I’d include it because I think it’s helpful to think of every possible aspect.
Do you have a dog or a cat?
This may not be feasible for everyone, clearly, but one thing that really contributed to my getting closer to people here in Cremona was my dog, Jaime. She was my mom’s dog and when she passed away, I took Jaime with me to Cremona. She’s a very friendly dog that loves going up to people but she’s also got a very busy social life.
Nothing generates a sense of comradeship and connection like discussing dogs with other dog owners who possibly go out at the same time to take their pups out.
With the added bonus that through Jaime, I discovered hidden spots that I would never have found by myself because it would have never occurred to anyone that there was anything special about the places I hang out in.
Shop for food
Go buy your food always at the same alimentari.
Alimentari are so much more than grocery shops. They’re THE place where people go when they want quality food. Like with all things concerning food, Italians bond over the right kind of bread and the best affettati. If you keep going to the same place, soon the owner will know to keep aside that kind of pagnotta or cornetto that you like so much.
Join a co-working space.
Again, this may not be for everyone. I go to the centre of Cremona weekly to do some work at a co-working cafè. It’s been a wonderful experience that has helped me see Cremona from a completely different perspective. There’s something about showing up regularly in a place with your computer or notes that generates curiosity or interest from people.
If co-working cafès aren’t an option, just think about your interests and see if there are any courses or workshops in the area that you could attend.
And in Big towns like Rome?
Now, in a bigger town, these tips might seem harder to implement but truth is, not much changes. All you have to do, is look for cafés and places where locals go and not crowds.
Even in Rome you’ll find places where romans live and hang out not far from the city centre. Keep an eye on the clients. If you see senior citizens hanging out there or playing cards at the bar, then you know that you’re on the right track.
I hope these tips helped and I’d love to hear if you have any to add of your own.
If immersion in Italian life and living authentic experiences with locals is your dream, then you might enjoy my Italian Immersion Retreat which I host twice a year. During my retreats, I help learners enjoy Italian pace of life, build connections and give them the tools to experience the country. If this is something that speaks to you, make sure you join the Retreat waiting list. I have one last spot for September 2023 and I’m already accepting applications for 2024.