Beautiful Italian Words: Coccolarsi
Here's a hard to translate but much-needed word that will enrich your summer
I’ve just come out of a three-day migraine that to me, chronic migraineur for the last 6 years, was something completely new and quite shattering.
When things have been hard for me, like these last days have, I know I have to reach out for a very special Italian word, coccolarsi.
Coccolarsi is a reflexive verb. That means that the action of the verb reflects on the person who makes the action. Which is very apt given the word.
Coccolare literally means to cuddle.
You can say Coccolare un bambino, to cuddle a child.
Coccolarsi means to cuddle yourself.
In practice, it means to show tenderness, kindness not to someone else but to yourself. Yes, you.
You can also say, farsi una coccola.
For example, my overworked lawyer friend, when he works long hours, always makes sure that in the evening, when he gets back home, he’s able to fix himself a nice meal to “ farmi una coccola”( his words).
Even if it’s very late. Even if he’s tired.
What does coccolarsi look like?
It really depends on who you are and what your needs are.
How can you show up for yourself?
A coccola can be many things. For example:
Deciding to take a detour and enjoy the sunset.
Chucking the to-do list in the bin for the day and enjoy the rest of the day off.
Turning off notifications on all your main apps on your phone. Better still put your phone on airplane mode for the rest of the day. (I’m always stunned at how few people seem to know about how damaging those constant pings are for our mental health)
Make your favorite meal with the best ingredients you can find. Set the table as if for a banquet, don’t just eat it on the couch. This is for you, it’s special!
Have a good nice chat with a friend. On the phone or in person. A chat, remember? When two people actually speak to each other about this and that?
Or simply slow down. Take things dolcemente. Because you matter and you deserve it. What’s the rush anyway?
Please let’s not call it self-care. The word itself isn’t wrong but it simply doesn’t express the love and tenderness that a coccola does.
Love that we’re constantly leaving out of our daily actions.
Can you coccolarti also in your Italian journey?
So glad you asked. 🙂
Absolutely.
An Italian coccola can be:
Reading the horoscope in Italian and looking for your sign.
Enjoying your favorite show in Italian but with a snack that reminds you of Italy at hand. A glass of prosecco, a bruschetta, a bit of cheese.
Dance to your Italian playlist. If you’re feeling more daring sing out loud because it lights up your heart.
Meditate in Italian. Check out Meditopia or Insight Timer for their Italian settings. There’s something so soothing in meditating in another language.
Or simply, quite simply, have a cup of coffee made with your moka and take a moment to enjoy it and the sense of connection it gives you to all things Italian.
With an Italian coccola, the main requirement is to not judge yourself while doing these things.
Show your Italian the same tenderness you would show to a child. Extend that kindness to yourself.
All these things sound fine on paper but I know how hard they are.
You might come up against a lot of internal resistance. It may feel like you’re slacking off, being self-indulgent, trying to not do all the important things you’re meant to do.
Show some tenderness to all that resistance as well because it’s just a well-meaning friend trying to keep you in line.
Unfortunately, our inner critic has it all wrong.
The world doesn’t fall apart when we stop to coccolarci.
The world, our world, falls apart when we DON'T take the time to stop and show ourselves that tenderness we need and deserve.
And now I’m off to do as I preach.
My coccole will involve couch time and extra dog snuggles and maybe, read a bit from my book if my eyes are up to it.
In the modo ti fai qualche coccola?
How this Italian word can change your life
One of my favorite Italian words is dolcemente. Here's what it means and how allowing dolcezza in your life can help you.
I love everything about this Elfin, and it’s a perfect timing. Italian songs to sing along and ditching the to-do list when it gets too long - I already feel better :)
Coccolarsi, so beautiful, so important. Thank you Elfin. I hope your migraine is better. I think Pooh has some important words to say as well.
"Say, Pooh, why aren't you busy?" I said.
"Because it's a nice day," said Pooh.
"Yes, but ---"
"Why ruin it?" he said.
"But you could be doing something Important," I said.
"I am, " said Pooh.
"Oh? Doing what?"
"Listening," he said.
"Listening to what?"
"To the birds. And that squirrel over there."
"What are they saying?" I asked.
"That it's a nice day," said Pooh.
"But you know that already," I said.
"Yes, but it's always good to hear that somebody else thinks so, too," he replied..